Anniversary

Happy Flower Moon anniversary to my sweet ole husbo. :) We renewed our marriage tonight, as we do each year... 6 years, woohoo! I love our ceremony, and all the beautiful relics from our first wedding. We married ourselves at a waterfall, under a moonbow (really, a moonbow). Each year we write new liturgy for what we wish to call into our marriage from each elemental "quarter" of our lives. We use candles we made together from beeswax and Cumberland River sand 6yrs ago. We had to patch one tonight but they may even last another year. We have river water, river coal, birthstones, a cord woven of strands representing the Flower Moon, Spring and Renewal, and love. We have our wedding knot. He brought me wildflowers from the roadside and we laughed at how he'd done this on our trip 6yrs ago, and I'd sniffed them and hung them in front of my car vent, then ended up in a fit of allergies for days. He was so cute then, worrying about it.

What is this moonbow? When I was growing up, we had relatives who lived near Cumberland Falls, and I visited there several times... it's gorgeous enough without the moonbow, which I'd never seen until our wedding. Back then, park interpreters told us that there was only one other waterfall in the world where a moonbow could predictably seen, some waterfall in Africa. And in my lifetime, that waterfall's contour has eroded such that a moonbow is no longer predictable there. But at Cumberland Falls, on a clear night with a full moon, there will be a moonbow. The image above shows color, but that is a trick of photography... to the naked eye, the moonbow is ghostly white. When we arrived at nearly midnight, the moonbow arced from the top of the 60ft fall all the way down to the river below. Depending on the orientation of the moon with season, the arc may come in from another direction.

I hope to take DS there next year or the year after to show him. I can't wait... it is a pilgrimage place for us. It is also the place where husbo realized he had a southern accent. He grew up in Little Rock, what was he expecting? It stopped him in tracks, in disbelief. I just laughed... I love accents, and wear my own as lyrically as possible.

He's a wonderful person, this husbo. I hope to have many, many years ahead with him.

Walkin' at Wilson Park

I just have to say, I love my new park walking habit! We have such beautiful parks here in Fayetteville. One is particularly gorgeous and well-peopled, Wilson Park.

In the picture, you can see a view of "Point 7" aka "the castle. The picture doesn't do it justice and I hope to get a decent camera soon so I can take my own pictures. There is a natural spring underneath the castle, feeding a small pond and Scull Creek which rounds through the rest of the park and is a tributary of the Illinois River (or as DS recently read the sign: "the Illusionist River"). There are small surprises of colored glass and symbols nestled throughout the stones and ferrocement sculpture. The spire is topped with four quirky faces representing the four winds or four directions, North, East, South, and West. Benches are ferro-cement flowers. Little is more pleasant than hanging out on one of them, listening to the watery chiming of the pond fountain. I could knit there for hours.

The walking path is .9miles and much of it bordered by gardens with very interesting plants (maybe later I'll manage to write up a litany of them!), not just your usual peonies, and so much is in bloom right now. Coming down the hill to the park today, I was smitten (again) by the sight of it all, as well as by seeing so many people out on the grass lounging, or walking the path. Reminds me of why I love living here... there are plenty of people more enamoured with an early summer park day than staying in for the tube.

I do wish my allergies would ease up... but I'm determined to get out there in the spring, despite them... I'm just suffering through the night with sinuses, so I'm compromising with allowing myself late, late mornings. It helps that DS is happy enough playing on his own for a while when he first wakes up, but I do hope to resume an earlier day as soon as I can get normal sleep again. Not that I will ever be a morning person... but lately... hmmm. All in stride, I guess.

I think the exercise endorphins are already starting to kick in... I tried the exercise bike during DS's YogaKids vid yesterday and it was nothing but great... challenging, but in a way that felt good, like my system was clarified and energized, rather than damaged... and not just physically, also mentally and spiritually. Movement like this can be a spiritual practice, and better for depression and anxiety than prozac. I have high hopes for the exercise habit... I know how great it's been for me in the past, and am feeling so grateful to have found some equipment, a walking pal, and a lovely path to get me going again.

Happy thoughts, I guess. :)

Poem: "Cartographies of Silence"

A poem I found beautiful in restless wee hours:

1.
A conversation begins
with a lie. and each

speaker of the so-called common language feels
the ice-floe split, the drift apart

as if powerless, as if up against
a force of nature

A poem can begin
with a lie. And be torn up.

A conversation has other laws
recharges itself with its own

false energy, Cannot be torn
up. Infiltrates our blood. Repeats itself.

Inscribes with its unreturning stylus
the isolation it denies.

2.
The classical music station
playing hour upon hour in the apartment

the picking up and picking up
and again picking up the telephone

The syllables uttering
the old script over and over

The loneliness of the liar
living in the formal network of the lie

twisting the dials to drown the terror
beneath the unsaid word

3.
The technology of silence
The rituals, etiquette

the blurring of terms
silence not absence

of words or music or even
raw sounds

Silence can be a plan
rigorously executed

the blueprint of a life

It is a presence
it has a history a form

Do not confuse it
with any kind of absence

4.
How calm, how inoffensive these words
begin to seem to me

though begun in grief and anger
Can I break through this film of the abstract

without wounding myself or you
there is enough pain here

This is why the classical of the jazz music station plays?
to give a ground of meaning to our pain?

5.
The silence strips bare:
In Dreyer's Passion of Joan

Falconetti's face, hair shorn, a great geography
mutely surveyed by the camera

If there were a poetry where this could happen
not as blank space or as words

stretched like skin over meaningsof a night through which two people
have talked till dawn.

6.
The scream
of an illegitimate voice

It has ceased to hear itself, therefore
it asks itself

How do I exist?

This was the silence I wanted to break in you
I had questions but you would not answer

I had answers but you could not use them
The is useless to you and perhaps to others

7.
It was an old theme even for me:
Language cannot do everything-

chalk it on the walls where the dead poets
lie in their mausoleums

If at the will of the poet the poem
could turn into a thing

a granite flank laid bare, a lifted head
alight with dew

If it could simply look you in the face
with naked eyeballs, not letting you turn

till you, and I who long to make this thing,
were finally clarified together in its stare

8.
No. Let me have this dust,
these pale clouds dourly lingering, these words

moving with ferocious accuracy
like the blind child's fingers

or the newborn infant's mouth
violent with hunger

No one can give me, I have long ago
taken this method

whether of bran pouring from the loose-woven sack
or of the bunsen-flame turned low and blue

If from time to time I envy
the pure annunciation to the eye

the visio beatifica
if from time to time I long to turn

like the Eleusinian hierophant
holding up a single ear of grain

for the return to the concrete and everlasting world
what in fact I keep choosing

are these words, these whispers, conversations
from which time after time the truth breaks moist and green.

-Adrienne Rich

Quote: A Child's Purpose

I am a quote hound, keep a categorized spreadsheet and everything. So, I've been digging goodreads.com, sifting through quotes by people and topics. Here's one that came up... thought it was cool. A friend asked me how I envisioned a perfect world...

"Because children grow up, we think a child's purpose is to grow up. But a child's purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn't disdain what lives only for a day. It pours the whole of itself into the each moment. We don't value the lily less for not being made of flint and built to last. Life's bounty is in its flow, later is too late. Where is the song when it's been sung? The dance when it's been danced? It's only we humans who want to own the future, too. We persuade ourselves that the universe is modestly employed in unfolding our destination. We note the haphazard chaos of history by the day, by the hour, but there is something wrong with the picture. Where is the unity, the meaning, of nature's highest creation? Surely those millions of little streams of accident and wilfulness have their correction in the vast underground river which, without a doubt, is carrying us to the place where we're expected! But there is no such place, that's why it's called utopia. The death of a child has no more meaning than the death of armies, of nations. Was the child happy while he lived? That is a proper question, the only question. If we can't arrange our own happiness, it's a conceit beyond vulgarity to arrange the happiness of those who come after us." — Tom Stoppard

Pinwheel Craft

So, I we did the pinwheel craft today, from Enki's kindy craft book (and Earthways, too, I think). It went really well. DS is often kinda resistant to having me lead the way on anything, so I've been working hard to strike the balance with him and ease his energy on that front. He's so independent, already. But Enki guides discuss how these things can be tenuous between a child and mom as "teacher." They offer plenty of advice on how to troubleshoot, and tonight, it seemed to pay off really well. I didn't get any resistance from him, just an engaged little fella into what we were doing, yay!

He'd had an active, satisfying weekend as a foundation, and was in a good mood already. Then, I waited for him to emerge from a period of free play on his own, after which, he'll eventually come start hanging out with me wanting to do something together. I had the stuff mostly ready to rock, so we just went to his craft table and I kept a nice, calm non-pedantic voice and welcoming spirit and we got to work. Here's a fun video I recently watched comparing a "traditional" craft session with a Waldorf styled craft session: "How to Waldorfize a Lesson Plan"

We used some of our new watercolor painted papers as recommended because they're nice and stiff but easy to handle. I helped match the folds and let DS make the creases while I held the corners/edges for him. He cut straight lines himself along the dotted lines I made for him, and since I only had a glue gun (forgetting I used all our Elmer's on a papier mache project a while back), I had to put on the glue, but he did a great job pressing the punched hole points over the center hole. Now, we just have to drill a hole in some sticks and use our long brads to fasten to those and we'll have it. They're cute and even without the stick, they twirl well, so I think it'll be a fun toy for him. He's been seeing pinwheels at the stores lately, so it's nice timing to make one ourselves at home. Soon, I'll try to digi-pic and add to this post.

New Enki Toy and Supply Site!

The folks at Enki just announced their new site for toys and supplies: Swift River Toys. The prices on many of these items are the best I've seen... way to go. And I love that they're offering a section of recommended picture books and chapter books. I hope that will expand with time to include picture book versions for many of the Enki fairy/folktale retellings, too.

Also, they've just launched their new electronic versions of their curriculum package, allowing a five day online preview. Only the kindergarten preview is available as of today, but previews for the other grades are supposed to become available over the next few weeks.

Recumbent Bike Review

So, we finally found a recumbent bike to fit our budget and my bod, within reason. Seat and back are fairly comfie, and it reclines a bit which helps me pedal it more comfortably. I tried it out today for a workout and loved it! I think this will finally do the trick. I've tried several types of machines and workouts and they usually end in frustration over the parts I can't do without major discomfort (no pain, no gain? no thanks.... exercise -can- be fun and reasonably comfortable... I know, I was once a gym rat... but I'm not into hurting myself and in the shape I'm in, I need to be careful and respectful of my body).

Anyway, the biking felt good and productive, finally. Some of the exercise programs I've tried may have been reasonably gentle, such as Scott Sonnen's "Warrior Wellness" (the initial range of motion recovery session), which I still recommend, but I've really wanted a more aerobic workout within my limits. I know I need to revitalize my metabolism and reach an aerobic level to get things moving again.... that no amount of dieting is going to make much of a difference in my particular situation without an exercise component. Bikes, smoothly working those large leg muscles, are faster fat burners than many machines and exercises, and yet, to me, they're still kinda fun... I feel I get more accomplished with less pain than with any other machine.

So, anyway... rave review on the recumbent bike front. We chose a Stamina 15-4800 model from Play It Again Sports. Way more comfortable than the Gold's Gym version at WalMart... it's seat parked me straight upright, if not leaning forward a bit, and really strained my back and doubled me up too much for good leg range of motion. I also like that the Stamina model has a super easy dial for adjusting the tension, placed where one can change it while still sitting on the bike. It also comes with 6 programs, a timer, calories burned counter, and blood pressure checkplates in the handles. The electronics for it take two AA batteries whereas the Gold's Gym bike used a few D sized batteries.

Wish me luck!

Veggie Meatloaf Recipe

I'm not one to buy tons of ground beef as I know is the American way and all... but recently, a friend made a special request for my meatloaf, a recipe I make maybe once every two years! I asked, "You mean the one with all the shredded veggies in it?" And he insisted that no way did it have veggies. But that's the only way I make a meatloaf, so whatever concoction it was he was reminiscing about had to be my veggie version. And it's true, it's kinda hard to tell there are veggies in it unless you look closely... they kinda blend in texturally and aren't all that visible, either.

This isn't an all veggie recipe, by any means... we're still looking at about 1.25-1.75lbs of ground beef in each loaf, but it's a way to cut back on some of the red meat involved, while working in some oats and veggies that take nothing away from your meatloaf experience, aside from dryness and fat. The following proportions make for a nice, moist, intact meatloaf with a rich flavor, but I hope to keep decreasing the meat and increasing the veggies little by little to see how far I can push it, and I'd love to try this as a ground turkey loaf, so if that goes well, I'll follow up on it.

Here goes, in bulk quantity to make four large (to the top of the loaf pan) or 5-6 medium sized loaves (they freeze):

7 lbs of ground beef (80% lean, will be drained off partway through cooktime)
4 zucchinis, shredded or grated
1 8 oz pack of button mushrooms, chopped
2 cups of shredded carrots
2 chopped onions
2 chopped green or red bell peppers (optional)
8 whole eggs (some say egg whites will do, it's worth a try)
1/2 c seasoned bread crumbs
2 cups old fashioned oats
1/2 cup bbq sauce or ketchup (plus more to layer on top halfway through cook time)
4 TB worcestershire sauce
4 tsp garlic powder
4 tsp onion powder
2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp salt

Beat the eggs separately, then handmix everything together (it's so much that it's just easier to get your hands messy or put on some kitchen gloves and use your hands to mix it all up). Spread in 4-6 loaf pans, pressing down firmly to remove air pockets. Bake, uncovered, at 450 for 45min. Pull out and drain off excess fat, then spread on about a half cup of ketchup or bbq sauce on top of each loaf and return to the oven, reducing heat to 350F for another 30-45min. Use a meat thermomenter to check for a done temperature (the specifics of which escape me at the moment).

Watercolor Painting, Round 2: Red

So, a follow up to my previous comments about our first foray into the Enki-Waldorf recommended wet on wet watercolor painting... on the first round, which we did in blue, on soaked watercolor papers with the corners rounded off to help encourage a more free form experience rather than painting "things and stuff," DS was definitely trying to paint "something," and when the wetness of the paper and the width of the brush, and the nature of the watercolors kind of prevented that, as intended, I think it bugged him a bit. Eventually, he just filled his paper with blue, though, and relaxed a little, but ended on the note: "yours is better than mine." Definitely not what we're going for with the painting, right?

But, for this endeavor, especially, I want to practice keeping calm, open, and patient. I really have high hopes for it being a practice that softens his edges a bit, and allows him to relax out of his self-conciousness into a dreamier, open state. So, no critiques, evaluative remarks, or instruction, just a soft, quiet voice and modeling a free form experience as best as I know how.

A few days later, we tried red. I read somewhere online in a Waldorf discussion that supposedly a color will invoke the feelings and associations of its opposite in the child. So, if we are painting with red, it will feel more like green for DS. Whichever moods or emotions green might invoke, those will occur when painting with red. (If there's a Waldorf parent or teacher out there reading this, do comment and fill me in if I'm getting this wrong... it was just a brief moment in passing on an article I wandered away from before taking notes.) Since I'm uncertain about this opposite color aspect, it isn't a huge part in my choice of color at this point, but it's an interesting idea I hope to learn more about. And it was in the back of my mind when choosing red next, along with the red imagery in one of the Enki painting stories.

Anyway, during the red watercoloring session, he would loudly, aggressively, and continually state how he was going to make the biggest dot with his red (watching it spread out through the wet of the paper). Again, that competitive mood, and not calm and relaxed, for sure. So, whenever he'd state this, I'd quietly repeat the verse from the story and lightly touch my brush down, slowly, calmly... after a bit, he finally stopped focusing on how to make his dots bigger than mine, and seemed to connect with the calmness of that verse. Aside from trying to make the biggest dot, he didn't appear to try making any other fixed forms. This time he did seem to start getting into just watching the color move through the paper.

Next, we'll try yellow, I guess. I'm curious to see how that goes. Perhaps he'll be getting more and more used to free form wet on wet painting after a few sessions and start to feel more nourished by them. I think I felt improvments with round two, so I expect round three will show more calm and immersion into color. I wonder if there's some method recommended for choosing colors at first? Unless I'm missing it, there's nothing specified in the Enki guides for kindy, so I suppose it's a simple matter of what feels good for that day to me? I wonder if painting orange will help invoke that calm state of blue? I need to research and get more info on this opposite color effect thing... maybe it's to be found in Goethian color theory stuff?

things and stuff... I'm quite a writer tonight, eh?

Park Walkin' Mama w/Tabouleh Recipe

I made it to the park again for my exercise walk, this time with 5yr old DS and his scooter in tow. I wasn't able to walk the .9mile route twice as before, but I think he'll be able to keep up for at least one time around and that's good enough for now. Lots of inclines and declines, so great exercise even if just once around. We topped it off with some time at the playground interacting with other kids and sifting sand. I think this will be an easy habit to keep up, now that I have a great walking buddy and our second vehicle is repaired for Husbo to take to work so I can have a sure ride there. It will help guarantee I get DS outdoors every day, despite our less than walker friendly neighborhood. I'm so grateful to have our car back at my disposal so we can take advantage of the awesome parks here.

I'm feeling very motivated, finally, after nearly 6 years postnatal, to return to regular exercise, which I used to crave and accomplish 6 days a week. My poor old bod shows and feels the wear and tear and I'm not able to do all the stuff I want to do (a massive understatement, and I do mean massive). As this concerns homeschooling, I am limited in our movement circle activity choices, too, so that's been a difficulty. Husbo helps supplement these areas in his play with DS, but I'm also glad to have found an alternative that employs many of the base sense activities found in Enki's movement circle as well as the nature mimicry: Marsha Wenig's YogaKids videos. We're not frequent tv watchers, so I feel all right using these 30min programs a few days a week... it's not exactly overkill on the media front around here. :)

We also recently purchased a used recumbent bike for exercising indoors when weather requires and I'm feeling so ready to get in motion that I have a feeling I'll double up and both walk and bike most days. I think I'll try riding it during DS's YogaKids video and see how that goes. I can't fully do the video with him and he prefers to do it without me, anyway. So, if I occupy myself nearby on the bike perhaps I can at least model exercising with him, as well as be present and attentive without being up in his grill. I'll check back in on how it goes.

I'd like to try using our movement circle opening and closing activities, still... so, for the Enki mamas and papas out there, for us that entails:

1) Opening: "Golden in the Garden" 3x times through:

1. Marching to the verses, adding each month's verse as we come to it
   in the year. We're marching from August through May now.
2. Round two: Mom keeps marching, DS starts skipping
   
3. Round three: DS jumps to the beat on his mini-trampoline,
   I sorta bounce along, too.
   

2) DS: YogaKids DVD Mom: Exercise bike, same room

3) Closing: "Our Home" fingerplay followed by story.

On the days we go out for the walk, we'll just sing "Golden in the Garden" on the way there, and when we get back home and settle in for story, we'll do "Our Home." I'm not sure if the latter will still work as a transition piece, but perhaps it will ritually mark the beginning of story time. We did it that way today and it went well. I also like how "Our Home" seems very in sync with Enki's developmental theme for kindergarten: venturing out from home and returning safely and unchanged, so even if it's used more as an intro to the stories than as a closing for the movement, I think it's still a keeper.

Other progress on the health front: Diet & Nutrition
For this first month or so, or until the exercise gig feels stable, I don't plan on kicking my own butt on the diet front. After all these years exploring various diet plans, I feel ready to let that quick fix mode go and opt for the slower, steady readjustments of long term lifestyle changes. For now, I plan to just eat when and what I want to, hopefully within reason, even if that means a little stress eating as I wait for the exercise endorphins to start working their magic. Later, I'll work more intently on diet and nutrition. In the meantime, though, I expect to see my food cravings naturally evolve towards the healthier choices I tend to make when exercising regularly.

And I'll be taking great vitamins and a few supplements that have significantly improved my chronic fatigue and immune system issues: CoQ10, Omega fatty acids, extra vitamin C, and an adrenal complex. I take Source Naturals brand LifeForce women's multi in three single pill doses a day. I can tell a vast difference with using these over not using them, and over using another reputedly good brand, Rainbow Light's Advanced Nutritional Therapy multi. I didn't notice any difference with those, so there's that reference point to indicate the effect of the Source Naturals vitamins aren't just wishful thinking. The other supplements are NSI brand and I order them for 50% off retail through VitaCost online.

In addition to at least taking good supplements, I'm also reading Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Mineral" and letting it inspire me to become more and more a locavore and seasonal eater. I don't see any 100% conversion happening this year, due to finances and home garden limitations. But I do hope to frequent the farmer's market for fresh, seasonal, local, and organic veggies each week, and to chronicle what I find in the market each month as a way to plan ahead next year. One reduction diet benefit to eating seasonally, at least through the early fall, is that we can eat lots of fresh, whole, low carb veggies. For the rest of May, we should still be in leaf lettuce weather, so now's the time to eat those salads. If we start to burn out on any particular food, the beauty of eating seasonally is that we'll be moving on to a new repertoire soon, not to return to the other for a whole year! This makes asparagus and fresh salads more precious and craveable when their time comes. Here's a great resource for finding what's local each month in your state: http://www.nrdc.org/health/foodmiles/

I also hope to take advantage of being near a great natural foods co-op in our new town, and have already started frequenting the bulk aisle, enjoying whole, organic grains and easy to prep mixes like taboule, falafel, low fat refried beans, black bean dips, soup mixes, etc. We've become big fans of the Brown Cow yogurt we can buy there, to the degree that all other yogurt, even Stoneyfield organic, pale in comparison. And, if I can get out there and get it going, I hope to garden at least a few main veggies like tomato, peppers, green beans, and basil. More on that project later. So, all's not put off in the diet department... I'm just not going to be working out calorie balanced menus or making any huge efforts to avoid any particular cravings for a while yet. Reclaiming the exercise habit is top priority for now, the rest will follow in due time.

As for today's progress, I made a huge vat of taboule, first of the year. It isn't entirely seasonal, though it could've been close if I'd made to the market for those baby cucumbers that are available right now. I use canned tomato, which would be better if they were home canned from fresh, local tomatoes, but maybe that'll be the case one of these days. But it's very healthy, fresh, good carb, high fiber, veggie rich food and I can make a ton for the whole week without slaving in the kitchen. I'm quite the epicure, but not a diehard chef, by any means... I've yet to make it a zen experience, despite years of trying, so I'm a fan of knocking cooking tasks out with once or twice a week bulk cooking. I'd rather repeat a good meal two or three times than repeat a meal prep any more than is necessary).

Here's my recipe for tabouleh:
4.5 C bulghur wheat (or bulk aisle tabouleh mix)
7.5 C boiling water
8 Bigelow Teas Mint Medley tea bags
2 C minced fresh parsley
2 C chopped green onions
4 diced cucumbers
2 cans diced tomato, undrained

Dressing:
3-5 tsp salt
1-2 tsp black pepper
1/2 C olive oil
1/2 C lemon juice

4-6 C crumbled feta

Bring water to a boil and then steep the tea bags in it for 5-10min, then squeeze the tea bags and pour the hot tea water over the bulghur wheat (or over the same amount of bulk aisle tabouleh mix, it'll just have a richer flavor with the extra dry lemon, mint, and dry herbs already included, but cut the salt back to 3tsp). Let stand until wheat has soaked up all the liquid, usually 20-30min.

While the bulghur soaks, chop, dice, or mince the veggies and toss together with the dressing mix, reserving the feta for mixing in at the end, or for separately adding to individual servings.

Add the soaked bulghur to the veggies and dressings and toss, then toss in the feta if desired.

Serve on a bed of lettuce, or in cucumber boats with seeds scooped out, or in toasted pitas (my favorite!). Makes enough to feed an army (probably about a gallon). Great for a week of lunches and good enough to eat every day for even longer!. :) Full of whole grain fiber and fresh veggies.

Homeschooling After Allergies

Well, I feel we've blown off a few weeks thanks to relentless pollen allergies, and though I'm still feeling less than perky, I'm ready to dive back into a few of our "formal" odds and ends, like our curriculum story, movement work, fingerplays, etc. We definitely saw some old behavioral problems show up again when our rhythm became.... er... arhythmic, I guess. The past few weeks suffering the side effects of letting DS live in a world of endless expansion while I slugged around reminded me to dig in a little deeper into mindfulness and Tonglen meditation practices. I need to work on keeping it together even when I'm sick or down, and I need to strengthen my ability to remain calm within the storm. And maybe I need to plan a more rhythmic annual hiatus in April because for the past several years, as soon as the Bradford pear trees bloom and the pine tree catkins poke up all over town, I'm as ill as with the flu. I -must- keep the computer off till late afternoon. I'll just have to figure out how to get it all done, anyway. Not sure yet, but I'm sure it entails peeling off more internet tasks. Coincidentally, though, I've just signed up to finish my bachelor's degree online, so I'll be glued to the computer for classes come fall. Still, I'm determined to confine that to late in the day and keep our mornings attentive to rhythm. Life is so much more peaceful that way.

Arts and Crafts:
During our hiatus, we did, however finally begin painting and fingerknitting, so we now have those activities to weave into the day and I'm glad to have broken the ice (of my own worry) for the watercolor painting. I'm still not 100% sure I've mixed paints to a proper saturation of color, and suspect that my first attempt at blue was too pale... he even commented that it wasn't very blue. I used a "pea sized" amount of Da Vinci's Scuola tube watercolors, as that's the closest thing to a measurement I was able to scrounge out of the web and egroups, but to achieve a color that felt rich and nourishing to me, I had to add more until I'd probably added three or four "pea sized" blobs. But he seemed to relax into it a little more. Then, as I'd feared, he wanted to make "something," some shape or "thing" rather than just play with the color dancing in the wet on wet painting style. So I'd prepped my own materials to paint alongside as subtley and quietly and free form as possible, and still he ended up saying "yours is better than mine!" *sigh* Thus we struggle. He's very sensitive and self-conscious, "awakened" early as the Waldorfers say referring to young children who move more into their head (intellect) before developmentally ready. They can do this, ready or not, and public education encourages it with early academics, but it can make them self-conscious too early, halting a lot of their freedom to just be and do in the moment, to follow their noses and curiousities, to try new things and challenges without worry about how they measure up, others' judgement, or comparison/competition. At least that's how I'm understanding it at this early point in my studies. And it definitely seems to be the case for DS. I hope, though, that a few more sessions of painting will loosen him up. I'd read that the wet on wet watercoloring could help in that way for overly awakened children. Fingerknitting went famously.... he was quickly accomplished and secure in that, even woke early the next day and went straight to his fingerknitting to practice it before waking me up. This was a much better experience for him than our first go at bow tying.

Movement:
Movement class is out for the summer soon and I've also begun a new walking habit in the mornings that will replace our formal movement circle for a while. On the days we don't walk, we'll use the YogaKids videos by Marsha Wenig. They're real gems we discovered at our local library. She uses many of the same movements offered in our Enki materials, though not to the same verses, of course. But the movement is there, at least and we will find other ways to work in rhythmic verses with movement. I'm leaning strongly towards working mostly with the Enki comprehension verse activities for our stories, and we'll resume our fingerplays. I've asked husbo to work in as much skipping and rhythmic step activities as he can into his play with DS on the weekends and evenings.

Turns out I'm only just now actually understanding the importance of the midline crossing activities to neurological preparation for reading and since DS is already reading up a storm since September, I'm in a mild panic about wanting to makes sure we support as much brain hemisphere "bridging" as possible so that he doesn't become over reliant on right brain sight reading before he is able to employ left brain phonics parsing. (see "You Are Your Child's First Teacher").

Music:
We need to resume our musical jam sessions that were hard to maintain in the rhythm of the day because Husbo's work schedule was soooo relentlesly unpredictable and late nighted. As of today, though, he is in a new department that should offer a more stable schedule and less overtime and stress, so hopefully we can rely on a good time to jam as a family with shakers, rattles, and drums. I have also been working on music for myself, resuming the flute practice I'd barely dipped my toes into 13yrs ago in high school band! I've been so motivated the past month to play it, despite the silly band book I'm practicing out of. (you know, stuff like "Go Tell Aunt Rhody") But I have such high hopes for it and know that this time next year, I'll be rocking out Tori Amos and Jethro Tull, so I am patiently and positively paying my dues with Go Tell Aunt Rhody. As for DS, I know that exposing him to my personal example of learning an instrument from scratch should help support our work next year learning the recorder in our Enki program. Now that we have a VCR again, I'd also like to whip out my VHS frame and djembe drum videos and work on polishing my newbie skills with those. My heart has been full of music and poetry lately, so I want to run with it and see where it takes me.

Well, off to rework our daily rhythm for our new morning walk habit and husbo's work schedule.

Sigh, I'm Sad

So, my friend came and went, and things are really hard for him right now. My heart feels heavy and if I could afford a good cry, I would. But I'm full of pollen allergies on the verge of a sinus infection, so there's no good time to get any snottier.

And I suppose I have to work on letting it go, anyway... I can't take medicine for another. I guess I can only stand here and watch the train wreck with a family full of dear hearts in it. I ache for this.

Menu for Alcoholics in Recovery

This is a bizarre first post for a blog that will mostly be about homeschooling, written before I even bother with profile information, or any other of the usual set up of a blog. But it's what's on my brain at the moment and I felt a strong urge to come and write about it, so here we are.

A very dear friend is coming in for a visit this weekend and he's just recently realized his drinking problem, attempted to seek treatment, lost a job over it, and yet is still attempting dry out and recover from this monstrous thing. My heart is full of love and worry for him. He's been hospitalized for near liver/kidney failure and dehydration issues twice in the past 6months.

So, anyway, I'm out here surfing the web looking for foods that might be gentle for his digestion and early recovery process, to help curb the fatigue and anxiety, and nutritionally support sobriety. I'm finding some neat stuff. More on that in later edits, but for now, I just found a cookbook that looks perfect: The Sober Kitchen by Liz Scott Even cooler is that I called Hastings in town and they have a used copy in stock for just $6.99. Sent husbo down for it.

I welcome menu ideas and recipes from any readers out there who have also explored foods and meals for recovery and sobriety. Comment away! :)